Issues of language and etiquette remains the biggest barriers for individuals and businesses in engaging with disabled people. The fear of saying or doing something that unintentionally causes offence to a disabled person, leads many people to swerve the conversation altogether.

Don’t be afraid

The key message is to be yourself and don’t change the way you talk or behave just because you are engaging with a disabled person, and you will be fine. Don’t be afraid to have the conversation with a disabled person. The individual will be more offended if you swerve the interaction than if you engage but don’t get it right first time. For 99% of disabled people, it is all about context. Don’t let your actions be dictated about the concerns of the 1%.
 

​​​​​​Tips for meeting a disabled person

• Ask them their name and go from there. Disabled people have names like everyone else. Remember their impairment isn’t who they are. Continue to use your normal voice tone. Don’t go up an octave or start to talk in a manner that might sound patronising; address disabled people in a way in which you would address anyone else – refer to them by name; and never try to finish someone’s sentence for them. Regardless of disability etiquette we all know how infuriating that behaviour is when it happens to us.

• Get to know them, the same way you would anyone else. “How was your weekend?” “Rubbish weather, isn’t it?”
• People’s impairments aren’t always physical and can’t always be seen. Don’t assume disabled people will look or act a certain way.
• When offering to help, ask first and listen to what they say. You’re trying to do a good thing, so be cool if your offer is turned down. Wading in isn’t always needed or wanted.
• Remember everyone is different.
• Always speak directly to disabled people, not to their companion, aide or sign language interpreter.
• Don’t apologise if you use an expression such as “I’ve got to run” or “See you later” that relates to the person’s disability. These expressions are part of everyday language and it is likely the apology will be more offensive than the expression.
• When communicating with a wheelchair user, try to seat yourself at a level that allows you both to communicate at eye level where possible.
• Do not distract, feed or pet working assistance animals when they are on duty .
• If you normally greet people with a handshake, greet disabled people with a handshake. With your words - and actions - treat disabled people just as you would treat anyone else.
• What is important to remember is that we are all different and need to be recognised for what we are capable of doing, not for what we may require assistance to accomplish.
• Don’t make assumptions. Disabled people are the best judge of what they can or cannot do. Don’t make decisions for them.

 

You could say...	Never say...
Disabled person Disabled people	Cripple The disabled Sufferer
Non-disabled person Non-disabled people	Able-bodied Normal
Deaf person Deaf people	The deaf
Blind person People with visual impairments	The blind
Dwarf Person with Dwarfism People with Dwarfism	Midget
Person with a learning difficulty People with learning difficulties	Retard Slow Simple
Person with Down's Syndrome People with Down's Syndrome	Downs Person with Downs
Challenges of mental health	Mental patient Psycho, Schizo, Mental
A wheelchair user Wheechair users	Wheelchair-bound Confined to a wheelchair

 

Meeting people with hearing or speech impairments

 

• Don't shout at people who are deaf or have a hearing impairment; do position yourself in their vision, and attract their attention with a light touch or wave if you need to.
• Do ask how a person wants to communicate - they may wish to lip-read, for example.
• Lip-reading is tiring and not totally reliable, speak slowly and clearly. Try and provide emphasis with gestures and facial expressions; face the light, and try not to cover your mouth
• Deaf people may regard British Sign Language (which has a unique grammatical structure) as their first language, not English.
• Be patient with people with a speech impairment; don't correct them and don't finish their sentences. If you don't understand, don't pretend you do.

Meeting people with a visual impairment

• Tell a visually impaired person who you are; introduce other people who are there, and say where they are.
• Don't grab a person to guide them - let them take your arm; do ask them if they wish to be warned about steps, doors, and other obstacles. 
• Do say clearly where their seat is, or place their hand on its back arm. 
• You can use a common saying like 'see you tomorrow' with a visually impaired person.
• Remember that a visually impaired person may miss out on gestures or facial expressions and so appear to respond inappropriately - it may seem that they do not get a joke, for example, when in fact it is not properly communicated to them.